Whoa! What an incredible experience that was!
The day started out in such an interesting way. My lovely friend had posted an article for me to read on my Facebook page many moons ago…I had not yet read it, and decided to do so that morning. Life is so perfect, when we allow it to be, that that article inspired so much in me. I wrote about it here.
That afternoon, I walked into the teaching room with a buzzing energy mixed with excitement and nervousness all in one. In any case, the nervous system does not know the difference between the two, so to my nervous system, I was simply “activated”…not “wired”. Although I had brought a choice of three different outfits, I had forgotten my head cover! And, as it turns out, the Kundalini community is SO kind and supportive that they definitely present a number of choices for you and your outfit (which, by the way, was a cotton shirt with a beautiful elephant with gold on it my mom gave me many moons ago and a flowy white cotton skirt). I picked the perfect head cover (you guessed it, white, cotton), proceeded to thank, hug and welcome everyone for joining me in the class…there were 6 people who decided they wanted to be my guinea pigs (fyi, this is the only kind of animal testing I actually approve of).
I forgot, too, to have music playing when everyone was setting their mats.
I also forgot how to start. So in that moment, I welcomed everyone who joined, and decided it was time to tune in with the Adi Mantra —Ong Namo Guru Dev Namo, I bow to the subtle divine wisdom, I bow to the divine teacher within. What a beautiful mantra! It immediately settled me into the role of the teacher –suddenly, I knew what I was and what my role was. Once everyone was tuned in (which of course, I forgot to mention what the Adi Mantra means …) I gave a little schpeel about what Kundalini yoga has meant for me. I think I took up much too much time talking about myself, and it was exactly perfect.
I proceeded to instruct people on how to do the warm ups, which also took entirely too long (I spent 17 whole minutes on the warm ups! Oops…). At first, when people started doing the warm ups, I looked at the time and felt as though it is going so slow…right then, I realized that this gives me plenty of time to ensure the music is right, to look at the instructions for the next asana (which I apparently wrongly called “kriya” a number of times), and to give a little more instruction in the middle of the asana as people were moving.
I taught a kriya I absolutely love: the Surya Kriya — the first kriya I ever completed over the winter. I just love it so much…I believe that’s what came through me. People followed my instruction more or less flawlessly. Turns out I instructed them how to do the asanas, but less so on exactly how to come out of them! I barely noticed, but the students definitely did…
I also ran out of time, so my relaxation at the end, only lasted 3 minutes, which is okay given that we had a 5 minute breathing exercise and a 6 minute silent meditation, AND …which is simply not enough. I had been debating which song to play for the relaxation (Ad Gurenameh or Adi Shakti) but none of those felt right when the time came. I chose “heart of the universe” by Snatam Kaur. Ah, perfection.
Tuning out, I was told I have no more time (another class was ready to come in), so we changed “the long time sun” freestyle (because, of course, it was the only song I did not have as part of my music!), and it was beautiful.
All in all, everyone enjoyed the experience. They gave me incredible support, and fantastic constructive criticism that will help me improve when I do my actual practicum in a few days, and, most importantly, advice on how to proceed when teaching public classes. I felt sosupported, so valued, so important. I felt like this is exactly what I was born to do. I felt confident, inspired, like I was home. When I left, after much discussion and laughs with the supportive members of the community, I felt this amazing sense of energy –excited and calm, both at the same time. An interesting mix of an excited calm, and a calm excitement that I rarely ever feel. The energy in my body felt balanced and beautiful.
And this is the absolute gift of yoga — you get to settle into what you are, and act from that space.
When I got home I simply crashed. I felt I should cook dinner and wash off my mascara before laying down and help my husband with whatever…and, my body was calling out for rest. Guess what voice I chose to listen to? First, a nice white feather meditation. Then, some quiet time in bed…but my intellect was racing. Then, a nice yoga nidra for integrating with the universe. Then, hubby came to call me to invite me downstairs for dinner (because yes, he cooked for us after he fixed our car because that’s the type of human he is). We ate dinner without TV, and the lights dimmed low. Something very special and intimate about eating together in such circumstances… I got some very peaceful, relaxing sleep that night…
It was all perfect.
I do not know exactly what the future has in store for me. I do not know what I will bring where. What I do know is that Kundalini yoga is one of the empowering paths for me, and it is a gift that I will soon be able to share with women in a local shelter, and then…who knows?! What I do know is that I am in the exact path I am meant to be on. When I say that I do not mean some pre-deterministic and condescending “everything unfolds according to God’s plans” path. Instead, I mean the path where everything unfolds exactly as it should, because I chose, in every unfolding moment, the path of the Soul, the truth, the love. I have no fear of the future, even though the choices of the collective are causing biosphere collapse, aka human extinction, in my lifetime, I chose life and all it’s beauty, all it’s magic, all it’s divinity. I chose to live, in this moment, increasingly more, as what I AM.
And what I am is what you are is what all life is: BEings of Light!
It’s incredible what happens when you align with your Truth. I highly recommend it!