Why am I here? Consciousness Transformation, of Course!

Matriarchal Consciousness as Paradigm

Since the dawn of the agricultural era, masculine energies have sought to establish dominance and control over our species and the planet. Fast-forward thousands of years to our modern world and we find ourselves in a position where the speed, density and intensity of the domination has accelerated to the point of absolute fucking insanity. What has come to be known as patriarchy, aka toxic masculinity, is failing us all. Truth of it is, it is an outdated paradigm that is surely coming to its end. 

In what has been a “man’s world” for thousands of decades, I am curious about what a world led by the everlasting, fierce nurture of the matriarchal feminine would be like. Unlike patriarchy, this world led by feminine energies does not exclude the masculine. Instead, it acts as the crucible for the most sacred unfolding of the dance between the healed masculine and feminine energies to create a world that incorporates the totality of what we are: Consciousness, Manifested. 

I know that I am here to create a different reality, for myself and the world I live in. To do that, I am unwilling to fight the powers that be because incremental shifts (Band-Aids) within a dying paradigm are simply not enough. What I seek is much more expansive– I seek to transform the paradigm itself, to transform consciousness

To BE that which I AM, I require the transformational fuel of fire to guide my path. I am now abundantly clear on my life purpose — I am here to BE the transformation of consciousness I seek to see unfolding on our planet. As the polar opposite to the toxic patriarchal consciousness, I am here here to propel the evolution of the fierce feminine consciousness forward. I am here to live in alignment with my spiritual principles and apply those to whatever presents in my life. It is time for me to unapologetically embody my ferocity. I am here to courageously BE the provocative innocence, sacred wisdom and matriarchal intuition that I AM. 

Where I find myself in trouble is when I engage in either/or mentality. Either the world outside of me is fucking chaotic in the worst possible sense OR I AM an integral part of the transformed consciousness I seek to see in the world.  You see, both of those are True.

I could not hold both these polarities as Truth if I were not deeply connected to my sense of Self. The first step is always awareness. By noticing where I polarize myself, where I find myself in seemingly contradictory double-binds, I can choose to free myself. In the chaos presented, I get to rejoice, because it is yet another divine opportunity to become more of that which I already AM. In the moment of noticing, I get to choose the lotus of my attention and direct it in the direction I wish. That’s what breath is for. It is the great conductor of the music and magic that we are. 

What It Takes…

Despite the simplicity of it all, it takes consistent and sustained effort to discover more of one’s Self. It takes making personal evolution into a daily priority — not a space I show up to when a problem inevitably presents itself. It takes persistently engaging in conversations with others whose paradigm differs from that of the status-quo. Lot’s are available, like these with Naomi Irons and Deborah Gleason, or these with Sheila Winter Wallace. It takes a willingness to be intimate with one’s Self and others, trusting “I am safe”. This is where Decloacking and Living Authentically comes in, presenting me with a chance to begin the process of unveiling. It takes willingness to open up and be vulnerable with mySelf (first and foremost) and others about the most intimate family wounds, forever shattering the myth of the intact family. This is Engaging and Awakening Others. Most importantly, it takes making that loud internal calling that demands commitment to personal evolution a way of life. That is where the magic that is Manifesting a Meaningful Life comes in.

What I have discovered about myself is that I am in the process of perpetual discovery. After all, I AM a perpetually evolving being (not made of concrete, you see!?). I don’t think I would have understood the subtleties of the double-binds that ran the show of my life, until now. It took determination, persistence and a profound commitment to my personal evolution, for it’s own sake. Continuous self-initiation. That means I ensured I showed up for mySelf no matter what — I showed up for as many conversations as I could, I took time off work as needed, found babysitters as needed, spent thousands of dollars on “conversations” that I knew I couldn’t get anywhere else, spent countless hours away from home, read a plethora of books opening up my mind to a different way of seeing the world, listened on repeat to audio files that expand my consciousness and sense of Self, I started a blog and made myself vulnerable to the whole of the world (because I choose not to hide in secrecy)… In short, I made my own evolution an absolute. Priority in my life. 

I’d like to leave you with a little piece of intuitive writing that flew through me after completing the magic that was Manifesting A Meaningful Life. In this poem, I have woven together the “I AM” statements from all the courageous women who participated, for six days straight, in discovering a different process of living, demanding full, activated presence in each unfolding moment. 

I AM

Being in the magical flow of Life! What a spectacular way to LIVE! Moment to moment, each breath flowing into the next. Each breath, eternal. Each breath, timeless. Each breath, quantum. “I AM” the flow of my breath, in each unfolding moment. “I AM” the life Force that sustains all creation. I AM. I may ‘do’ but I BE mySelf. I BE my Life. I BE the flow. All that I am is NOW. Not the story of the past or the future. The joy of living can only be found in the moment. The exploration of Self — Joy Leaping! An inner knowing of The ALL, because I AM the ALL. The ALL is me, and forever has been. All I have to do is BE, explore spaces within myself and exhilarate in the stillness, centered. The quiet spaces of eternity. Ownership of polarities, of dichotomies, of perceived exclusive “or’s”. Reclamation of the ancient fire that transforms all it does not serve with a ferocity only experienced in the instinctual response of matriarchs protecting their cubs. Innocence. Life. I AM ferocity, embodied. I AM an ever-evolving BEing. Never static, in the nourishing and mysterious ocean of life. Expansive space, remembered in stillness, in safety of Self. Giving myself permission to fucking SHINE! I AM, after all, a massive star, light travelling the universe, experiencing what it is like to be alive. A creator of artistry, alchemy of my life. I do because I be. Aligned with congruency. Lightening the heavy lifting by coming back to presence, the moment, my breath. I have been so conditioned to forget; yet that’s where the Truth lives. Raw, real, descending from the ALL of consciousness to the specific I call “I”. This is my process to awakening the sacred expansive space that I AM. Simply…I Am. 

PS- Welcome, everyone, to the official start of the Age of Aquarius!

2 thoughts on “Why am I here? Consciousness Transformation, of Course!”

  1. Polarities as truth, Stela — that’s some powerful stuff! Thank you for sharing. I’ve been exploring truth lately and have learned a lot from your two blog posts this week. And that “Age of Aquarius” song has been in my head lately — I love that you linked it!

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    1. Its taken me a long time and so much introspection to be able to get to this point — the beginning of a new way of experiencing truth. A much more expansive way of being , indeed! And so much less collision in my body from perceived contradictions…ahhh, I love living this way, don’t you!!

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