As a woman connected to my sense of Self, knowing the infinite power of what I AM, my creations are deeply intimate. They are created and birthed out of love and thus they are are deeply meaningful and personal. They are connected to the Source that I AM, and they are fully my personal responsibility. To me, that responsibility over my creations is sacred. I only create from my Soul, and those creations are intended to spark the sacred.
I've started to really question the language of recovery and reconciliation as an artificial trope being used by the dominant culture to reinforce itself.
The creation of intimate relationships requires revelation of Self through deep vulnerability. Being vulnerable is a conscious choice. And we cannot be more intimate with another than we are willing to be with ourselves.
Transformation only occurs the moment I reclaim the truth of my experience, let go of the story/judgment/intellect, and choose wisely from the place of my emerging identity: who am I capable of becoming? And then, when I least expect it, the family systems strategies creep up.
Every day I get to wake up and decide: How do I choose to live my life today?
I take everything that comes to my awareness as an opportunity for growth. Call it disease, call it discomfort, call it life, call it death, call it Covid-19. It really doesn’t matter. It’s all a messenger of how I’m choosing to live my life. And, it’s all an opportunity, in this breath, to make a different choice. An opportunity to make an expansive, meaningful choice that aligns with who and what I know mySelf to be.
What matters to me now, increasingly more than ever, is my fully connected Presence. To know, in the moment, to say yes or to say no. To know, in the moment, to stay or to leave. To know, in the moment, exactly where Stela is. Without attachment to story, without attachment to past, without attachment to future, without attachment to outcome. Just me, bare, raw, Present. Here. Now.
This is the context that has allowed me to wholeheartedly and unquestionably trust living from an internally referenced point. There is nothing 'out there' that can overcome the truth of my own experience delivered to me through the impulses that move through my body.
In being responsible toward my Self (my calling, my being) I am carefree. Because the responsibility I integrate into my life is that of my choosing...and I'd have it no other way. What I'm talking about here is an internally referenced source of responsibility.
There are these moments in life where I know that it is all magic. The synchronicity of it all, the beauty deeply felt from beyond the very cells of my existence, the generosity of Spirit. I am surrounded by Love. I experience the fullness of Life. I consider myself so incredibly fortunate, because I let myself tap into that space of wholeness, oneness, majesty and I know "Life is magic".